I went to my first playdate "support group" today. Another mom has started a non-profit called Carb DM and they were kind enough to have a playdate about 45 minutes away. I have been feeling so angry, so unable to talk to others and in such a general bad mood that I thought it would be helpful to go. I don't like feeling like this but I can't seem to shake it.
The first mom I met welcomed me so warmly but it is always nerve-wracking walking into a new social situation. The second mom walked in with a 4 1/2 year old and a newborn and just asked me how I was. A simple enough question right? I said ok but I started to cry. I feel like I can't answer truthfully when asked by regular people. I'm sure people care but in my head, I know that most can't understand. This mom, whom I have never met, walked over to me and gave me the warmest hug. Who does that? I needed it though, very badly. I spent the next two hours with three women who started as strangers but by the end, I think I can call them friends. They got me. They took time to help me understand and answer all my questions. I admit I left with some new fears. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.
I'm on day 17 and I think I have conquered giving the insulin shots. I need help calculating carbs and sometimes I don't get enough blood on the first try to check the blood glucose. But I've come far. I've only had 1 day without tears but maybe those days will increase. Not today though.
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